Family, Kickboxing, Parenting

Handing over the Baton

For the first time tonight I am back to work outside the family home. So was prompted to write about it. I teach kickboxing once a week to adult beginners (www.tkoelite.co.uk shameless advert there) I have been teaching for many years and love it.

However the military operation that takes place prior to even leaving the house is one I am sure so many mums go through. And is it really necessary?

I am already thinking about the timings, dinner, bed times etc by mid morning. And have mentioned it numerous times to Mr DC throughout the day. Then the manic period approaches, 5 o’ clock is the start of this for us. I make sure mop top is fed, I feel rushed through her tea, forfeiting my own dinner to make sure everything is done. She even has a bath BEFORE dinner so Mr DC doesn’t have to worry about that.

I was out of the house for a mere two hours, and I know Mr DC can manage however I felt it necessary to lay each item out ready on the bed from pjs, to nappies even bum cream. He knows where they are, why can’t he get them out himself??

Then I sneak out the door so mop top doesn’t spot me leaving. And I’m leaving a very unsettled Theo bear who is currently unexplainably crying or should I say screaming. Get in my car and feel a very strange feeling of panic, emotion, and worry.

This is in no way a moan at Mr DC, as I’m sure many mums will say the same it is my own self issue as a full time mum.
I feel perfectly fine by the time I get into the midst of my class and am shouting exercises at my students. But I guess its lack of control, I’m in control of those two little humans all day every day, so when I have to release that control I feel very on edge.

I know it will get easier and I will gradually allows others to take control without me worrying so much. It’s a funny process this family life malarkey. You wish for that two hours out the house but actually when it comes it’s another event in itself!

Love
K 1+1
Xx

1 thought on “Handing over the Baton”

  1. Hey Hun I’m exactly the same, I went to work this evening for two hours which ended being 3 hours but the organisation to just get out the door does make you question is it worth it for a couple of hours. I remember the first time i went back to work for a couple of hours I had a full on panic attack it was horrendous. I remember thinking do I have no soul leaving my baby this early on in her life ( mainly because many other people always acted so shocked when I said I am going back to work for a few hours hear and there – so I think that helped make me feel guilty) But For me yes it is worth it going back to work. . To have the satifaction of knowing your doing a good job outside of the home, having something else to have purpose for, for social interaction with others, for my baby to have daddy time and my boyfriend to have baby time, and also for my boyfriend to realise how intense it ca be which teaches him to appreciate how stressful it can be when I do have melt downs and he can have a level of understanding ‘as well as understand and feel how wonderful and beautiful of course it can be spending quality time with your baby. For me also I like to know I’m taking the financial pressure off my boyfriend a bit too which I feel helps a relationship as well as having another dimension of conversation which isn’t all babies. Sorry if this is poorly written also- I’m sleep deprived and rushing to write as have baby duties calling me hehe!! Good blog K!!

    Like

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