That Sympathetic Smile

So picture this… you are in the supermarket, two babies in the trolley. Both crying; one tired and one hungry. It’s packed, people and trolleys everywhere. Your flustered, not sure which baby to soothe first. Then you get that look…… you know the one I mean from passers by. They feel slightly sorry for you, but glad they are not in your shoes.
Well I’ve labelled this ‘the sympathetic smile’

I remember seeing it when I had just Mop Top, but I am so much more aware of it now I have 2 babies. That slightly raised smile, head tilt and sometimes an ‘ahh’ thrown in. I even get it when both babies are content in the buggy. They are basically saying ‘ooo wouldn’t like to be you right now’ or ‘wow you’ve got your hands full’

Yes I’m very aware my children are close in age, and I may not look like it but I have everything under control (that is sometimes a lie) Even when I have just one baby with me and they are throwing an epic public display of a tantrum…. I know the look is coming from somewhere
I wonder if anyone else has been given that sympathetic smile, or maybe you call it something else.

I recently had a man ask me the age gap of my two. His response was ‘good luck to you’
This made me think, why do I need luck. This is my life now, its not sink or swim. Swim is the only option.
So I embrace my manic life, and appreciate every moment, good and bad.
And when I get that ‘sympathetic smile’ I turn into a moment of acknowledgement that I am doing ok.

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Signing out…. mummy with 1 plus 1 doing ok!
Xx

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What I would tell my pre-baby self

I have been thinking about this post for a while, and what I would honestly say to myself before babies. Can I even remember that far back, it was only two years ago, but I genuinely can not remember what my life was like before having children.

There are so many things I could tell myself back then, as they say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I have tried to whittle these down, so here are mine:

1- Be Spontaneous. Spontaneity goes out of the window when you become a parent. 

2- Don’t plan the parent you are going to be. That will go out of the window when that little bundle of joy enters the world and dictates your every move.

3- Take all the help that is offered. Do not let pride get in the way, if they offer even if it is one tiny gesture, always say yes.

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As I said I feel like I would tell myself a whole list of things. I thought on this post I would ask some fellow bloggers what piece of advice they would tell themselves, so here my top 10 pieces of advice….

‘Savour the lie in and never moan about having a wobbly tummy. You aint seen wobbly until having twins.’ Beth from Twinderelmo

‘Make the most of peaceful toilet trips.’ Jaymee from The Mum Diaries

‘Don’t wake the baby every three hours in the night just to change his nappy. This is insane behaviour’ Vicky from The Tactical Mummy

‘When the house is silent, listen. Remember just how silent it is.’ Tracey from Pack the PJS

‘Don’t do too much prep, you could read all the baby books and learn all the rules but you have no idea what your baby is like. Relax, go with the flow and remember baby is boss’ Eilidh from MaisyMeow

‘Its ok to ask for help!’ Jo from Pickle and Poppet

‘Read the baby not the books’ Laura from Life with Baby Kicks

‘Don’t worry about other kids progress, let yours develop at their own pace.’ Claire from The Organizer

‘Throw the baby manuals away and trusts your instinct’ Laura from Five Little Doves

‘Sleep while you can. For the next 6 years you will think 8am is a lie in’ Lisa from Hollybobbs

What a list, and I agree with every single one. If you have a pregnant friend, family member or work colleague tell them at least one of these this week.

What would you tell your pre-baby self? Please read, comment and like.

Remember mummies Your best will always be good enough, that hard time will pass, you are doing a great job!!Enjoy your evening

Love Kelly

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Hunger or Habit: why does my baby wake at night

I try really hard not to compare my two babies, but I have to say Mop Top was definitely sleeping through by this point, so we are in unknown territory with Bear still waking in the night.

His bed time routine is very established now, and he goes down like a dream between 630 and 7. We dream feed him at 10:30 ish, but every night pretty much without fail he wakes again between 2:30 and 3am. 💤💤💤 and will not settle for at least two, making me and Mr DC VERY tired. It’s pretty hard to function in little sleep plus a toddler and a baby to manage.

img_8088I am a bit of a research mummy, I like to google bits and pieces, read the latest research around babies. So I know some babies get into what’s known as habitual waking. But my question is his he really hungry or just waking out of habit.

When he does wake, we try to soothe him with a dummy, rocking, cuddles, this never works. Second try water….. He’s not stupid ‘no thanks mum!’ Iv even given calpol as he gets in such a state. As none of these options work, my feeling is he is just hungry. Last night I skipped all the first options and went straight for milk. Yes we were awake at 230 but back down by 3am and slept until 6 after that.

He is fully weaned, and eating really well during the day. One negative are his naps, they are not very well established at the minute, but we are trying with this one.

I recently spoke to a Health Visitor about this and she suggested water, ‘you don’t want to get him into the habit of getting milk again’ well very easy for her to say as she tucks herself into bed knowing she’ll be getting a full night sleep!

Iv read a little about habitual waking versus hunger, and supposedly if baby goes straight back sleep after the said feed he generally was hungry. I just seems odd to me that it is round about the same time each night.

Now my little teddy bear has slept through once, when my parents put him to bed so we could go out for dinner. Mum did exactly the same as I’d normally do but he didn’t wake until 6am….. Oh that’s a pretty good lie in for us.

I was concerned he’d get used to milk during the night like the HV said, but 2 hours of crying versus being awake for half hour, I take the latter all day. So for the time being, I plan to offer milk if he wakes and hopefully I can gradually cut it down to maybe (says wishfully) get a full night sleep soon.

And apologies for the awfull 3am photo, but this is what a tired mummy looks like..image

I’d just like to point out, I am very aware there are lots of mummies who have worse night time than me, and I should be thankful he goes down do well, but we always want a little more don’t we?

It’s 830 yup that’s right bed time #rockandrollparenting

Wide Load Coming Through

No this post is not about the size of mine or in fact anyone’s bottom. Despite this I hope you carry on reading……

Since becoming a parent my list of grievances has grown quite dramatically. One that is pretty close to the top of that list is cars parked across the pavement. It drives me mad!

Now when we go out in the car I use an UPPA Baby Vista as a tandem double. Its a great buggy, probably the best Iv had. It means I can have both world facing, both parent facing, one forward, one backwards, the possibilities are endless.

However when we go walking usually in the mornings, my mums double Britax is out ready on the porch. So we usually use this, its a side by side stroller. Yes its wider than a normal stroller but fits perfectly along a pavement.

We live in a small but busy village, with quite a few cars. Some of the houses have driveways, but not all of them, which leaves multiple cars parked on the road. Now lets get one thing straight I do not mind if cars park on the road, in fact I really don’t mind if cars park on the pavement a little bit. But since having a buggy I have noticed how far people actually park their cars on the pavement, to the point I can not fit through. Which results in me having to go into the road with the buggy to get past. So I put myself and my babies in danger because someone did not consider how their parking would effect others.

 

It is a foot path not a car path so why on earth do people feel it is appropriate to do this. I often come across cars literally parked on the whole path so that not even a single pedestrian could get through.

I don’t want to get technical and I am not going to search the Highway Code, but pretty sure this is illegal. Even if it isn’t illegal it is very annoying!

So next time you pull up to a curb to park, please consider those pushing a buggy before you bump up and park across the whole pavement.

#Parentgrievances #grumpymum

 

Does my child understand NO at 19 months old?

A few days ago some one creeped into our house, and put a secret ‘terrible two’ spell on my 19 month old child. Literally all I have said recently is ‘NO’ since Mop Top has turned into the devil.

She has learnt how to turn the television off, finds it very funny… I do not find this funny, especially after she has done it for the 5th time that morning. She decided to bite my niece during play time. And has just generally been a naughty pickle for the past few days.

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If she is doing something wrong or naughty, I always say no in my loud daddy voice, and have threatened to introduce the naughty step. However at 19 months would she really understand this form of discipline. She uses the word ‘no’ for other things so I think she knows what it means, but I wonder if its different when used in a form of discipline.  

Its catch 22 as if she doesn’t understand why she is on the naughty step what’s the point, but then I don’t want to leave it to late when she running the place because we missed that window of disciplining. Ah Man this parenting malarkey gets more complicated every day!!

She is only 19 months so I just know its going to get worse when we hit the well known ‘terrible two’ period. I love that she is a feisty independent stubborn little girl, but my gosh she is going to test me.

Tonight calls for wine and chocolate, she is at Nanny and Grandad’s tomorrow… poor

them!

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The parent insomniac

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They say everyone should get 8 hours sleep a night, well whoever said that clearly did not have children. I genuinely can not remember the last time I got a full unbroken 8 hours sleep… intact make hat a full unbroken 6 hours!!

I have to admit I was a little smug when Mop Top slept through from pretty early on. She went in her own room at about 5/6 months and we rarely had distributed night sleeps.
So I kind of need to admit with my tail between my legs that my second bubba, my little bear is a pickle during the night.
He goes down like a dream at 630, then 1am strikes and Bear feels it appropriate to wake and stay awake for the next few hours. We try and settle him in his own bed. But the majority of the time we give in and he ends up in our bed. (Cue the Health Visitor groans)
I may be making a rod for my own back by putting him in our bed, but when it’s 4 am and you can hardly keep your eyes open it is so necessary!

With a wake up call at 6am from both of them, the days are hard! Ah man I am tired! And in fact as I write this I am drinking a very chocolatey hot chocolate with quite a few biscuits. It’s the only way to get through the day.

I very lucky in the sense that we live at my parents, as it means mum does help me out with little things through the day. But wow a day with very little sleep the night before is super hard.
It’s funny isn’t it because when you don’t have kids, and maybe you have one late night out you struggle to make it through the day, well us mummies (and daddies) have a good few months of it.

But I have to keep reminding myself that my babies are small for such a small period of time and I will get my sleep back….. eventually….. I hope!

But right now we are persevering with a good bed time routine and hope he realises that 2, 3 and 4am is not time for mummy smiles!

Do you have a sleeper or a non sleeper? What’s your best sleep tip?
Would love to hear them!!!
Love a tired mummy

The Last (Breastfed) Supper

I write this currently in great pain, and those that have breast fed will understand why.

With Bear I felt like I wanted to breast feed until 6 months, and that was my goal.  I had a good experience breast feeing with Bear, unlike Mop Top, but I knew it was coming to an end at around 5 1/2 months. My milk didn’t seem to be filling him up enough, and he was using my nipples as a dummy a lot of the time.

When I stopped breast feeding Mop Top, my milk had dried up and I had mastitis so I didn’t really have a choice. With Bear we swapped a breast feed for a bottle feed as the professionals suggest. I was reluctant to admit I was nearing that last feed, in fact it had been my last feed about three times. If he was crying I knew a quick breast feed would soothe him, so I did. But eventually  I sat in bed during the early hours a few days ago, feeding Bear knowing it would be my last feed. Now I am not a natural at breast feeding, and I wouldn’t say it is something I thoroughly enjoyed, but I was actually quite sad. To think I would never breast feed this little bear again made my really sad. As he guzzled a 7oz bottle the following morning, I knew it was the right choice for us, but I couldn’t help hanging on to that last feed.

Then came the pain. Because my milk dried up with Mop Top I didn’t suffer to much discomfort. however despite gradually swapping to formula my boobs did not agree with this. Ahh man the next night I did not sleep at all, not because of waking babies but because of the pain i was in. I couldn’t lay on my side, couldn’t roll over and generally couldn’t move. I was at the point of tears. I was taking pain killers, ice packs and soaking. Mr DC kept saying it will get better, which I knew it would.

For about 2 days, I had rocks attached to me, didnt want them in a bra, couldn’t handle them out of a bra. It was an awful end to my whole breast feeding experience.

img_7986But gradually things went back to normal, don’t get me wrong they are still quite sore, but soooo much better.

Now Bear is completely formula fed, with the start of weaning happening, and he seems much more content, and has even dropped his night feed.

i feel proud of my self for managing 6 months of brrast feeding with Bear, but feel more in control of our routine now he is on formula.

If any of you are in the sme boat, and thinking about stopping breastfeeding, Please don’t panic, a few days and normality will return. There is definitely a long list if of things they don’t tell you about motherhood, and post breast feeding is on of them!

Have a good day

love Kelly xx

Soft Play; Its not for the faint hearted

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With two babies I like to get out and about as much as possible. When its cold outside I always feel stuck and really limited for ideas about where to go and what to do.

We venture to soft play every so often and as the title suggests they are not for the faint hearted. We have quite a few in our area, and they are hit and miss, with a few I vow to avoid.

Usually they are jam packed as every other mum within a 20 mile radius has had the same idea. There are shoes everywhere, chairs moved all over the place to suit different party sizes and its generally very noisy. Don’t even get me started on the germs they must be filled with. Eurgghhh.

I am very aware I sound like a grumpy old woman but these are the realities of my life right now.

There appears to be a category of child at all of these places. Firstly the fast child, running everywhere, doesn’t care for anything in his or her way, just feels the need to run and run fast. Secondly the loud ones, usually shouting, nothing specific just quite loud. The timid ones, clinging close to mum but occasionally gaining enough confidence to explore, but sure to return to mums side. And finally the crying one, kicking of about something, with usually a flustered mum trying to soothe them (We’ve all been in that boat)

Mop top is still either the clingy one or the crying one, she takes a while to warm up if we go anywhere. but I’m sure I’ll be experiencing her running into everything in site and shouting at the top of her voice soon enough.

Now I read this out loud to my mum, and she suggested I write something positive about soft play as it is all very ‘negative’ so far. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for soft play. Usually if its cold or us mums want to meet up with out too much hassle. The kids run around and play and we can (hopefully) grab a quick coffee with a little bit of chat in between rescuing each child from the third floor slide.

We will continue to try out different soft plays in our area, and I am sure Mop Top and Bear will fit into one of those categories at one time or another.

Feel free to share your experiences of soft play by leaving a comment.

Kelly

@funwith1plus1

P.S After todays incident I would like to add a child’s category, but I am not really sure how to do it politely.  The child you’d quite like to discipline your self but isn’t one of your own so you cant.

(Mop Top came out with a nasty scratch down her face, but did give as good as she got.)

 

 

 

Confessions of Motherhood

I find when people talk about motherhood, children and parenting in general often the reality is blurred. So these are my top six honest confessions of motherhood…..

  1. I very often eat quickly and in secret. While Mop Top is pre-occupied I speed into the kitchen, go to the goody cupboard and stuff a piece of chocolate or a biscuit in my mouth. Chew as fast as I can as I return to the lounge where she hasn’t even noticed my disappearance.
  2. I don’t shower every day….Yes iv said it now, its out there. Some days either I just don’t get time, or I am just too tired and id rather 10 minutes more in bed!
  3. I have told Mop Top a toy is broken just so I don’t have to hear the annoying music it plays for the 100th time that day.
  4. Some early mornings (like 5am) I pretend I cant hear Mop Top stirring until I know Mr DC is about to go see to her. (I know he does the same!)
  5. I often leave the house with the smell of sick, poo and wee covered up with multiple sprays of perfume.
  6. Sometimes I just give in for an easy life. Give in to the request of chocolate for a little bit of peace.

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I’m sure there are plenty of other points I could confess about here, but I really don’t want you to completely judge me as a mother.

Anyway must dash, have a spare few seconds to secretly eat something yummy

 

Love Kelly

@funwith1plus1

 

 

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