The Last (Breastfed) Supper

I write this currently in great pain, and those that have breast fed will understand why.

With Bear I felt like I wanted to breast feed until 6 months, and that was my goal.  I had a good experience breast feeing with Bear, unlike Mop Top, but I knew it was coming to an end at around 5 1/2 months. My milk didn’t seem to be filling him up enough, and he was using my nipples as a dummy a lot of the time.

When I stopped breast feeding Mop Top, my milk had dried up and I had mastitis so I didn’t really have a choice. With Bear we swapped a breast feed for a bottle feed as the professionals suggest. I was reluctant to admit I was nearing that last feed, in fact it had been my last feed about three times. If he was crying I knew a quick breast feed would soothe him, so I did. But eventually  I sat in bed during the early hours a few days ago, feeding Bear knowing it would be my last feed. Now I am not a natural at breast feeding, and I wouldn’t say it is something I thoroughly enjoyed, but I was actually quite sad. To think I would never breast feed this little bear again made my really sad. As he guzzled a 7oz bottle the following morning, I knew it was the right choice for us, but I couldn’t help hanging on to that last feed.

Then came the pain. Because my milk dried up with Mop Top I didn’t suffer to much discomfort. however despite gradually swapping to formula my boobs did not agree with this. Ahh man the next night I did not sleep at all, not because of waking babies but because of the pain i was in. I couldn’t lay on my side, couldn’t roll over and generally couldn’t move. I was at the point of tears. I was taking pain killers, ice packs and soaking. Mr DC kept saying it will get better, which I knew it would.

For about 2 days, I had rocks attached to me, didnt want them in a bra, couldn’t handle them out of a bra. It was an awful end to my whole breast feeding experience.

img_7986But gradually things went back to normal, don’t get me wrong they are still quite sore, but soooo much better.

Now Bear is completely formula fed, with the start of weaning happening, and he seems much more content, and has even dropped his night feed.

i feel proud of my self for managing 6 months of brrast feeding with Bear, but feel more in control of our routine now he is on formula.

If any of you are in the sme boat, and thinking about stopping breastfeeding, Please don’t panic, a few days and normality will return. There is definitely a long list if of things they don’t tell you about motherhood, and post breast feeding is on of them!

Have a good day

love Kelly xx

Breast…Bottle…Bottle…Breast. Does it matter how I feed my baby??

We all know the big never ending breastfeeding debate continues and mums continue to feel judged by how they decide to feed their baby.

Now I breastfed Mop Top for about 3 months and am currently breastfeeding Bear, not because I have an over whelming desire to but I guess just because I felt I should. (By who I’m not sure)

img_7984I can’t even count the amount of times I have been asked ‘are you feeding baby yourself?’….. no I’m starving him!!! I know full well they mean am I breastfeeding but I just don’t understand why people ask that question. In fact I found myself asking a friend recently if she was breastfeeding her newborn and her response felt like she was justifying why she was bottle feeding. Why on earth should us mums feel the need to justify how we feed our baby. I had one lady mid way through an exercise class say ‘are you breast feeding, it’s so easy isn’t it’ well actually no it’s not!!

I can feel my self getting angry as I’m writing this. But I feel we have enough pressures put on us as new mums without the added stress of trying to fulfil societies desire for us to breastfeed.

Breastfeeding Mop Top was never easy, i am not one of those mums who took to breastfeeding like a duck to water (excuse that saying.) I felt awkward, could never get the right position, always seemed to wear the wrong top, used to finish feeding with huge wet patches on me. So when I got mastitis around 3 months that was the final straw and she went to formula.
I remember when Bear was born, it was about day 4 and breastfeeding was proving so hard. I sat in our bedroom and cried in pain as Bear screamed for more milk, with a feeling of guilt smothering me as Mr DC suggested we give him formula. I wanted him to have breast milk so was convinced I’d be able to pump exclusively. I sent Mr DC out at about 9o clock at night to buy a manual pump. I’d googled it, asked friends who’d done it and it was possible.
Oh wow what a faff!!! Every 2 hours up I’d go pump what I could and then feed him that way. It didn’t last long as for us it just wasn’t doable especially with a demanding 12 month old.
Now I am combination feeding Bear and have done since about six weeks. I heard the teat/nipple confusion argument from multiple health visitors but felt it was right for us. We opted for Avent bottles as were advertised as naturally shaped teats ideal for combination feeding. So we introduced one bottle at lunch time and one at bed time the rest he has from the breast. For us this works, I feel less pressure, Mr DC can do bed times, the lunch time bottle fits in with Mop Top. He is now 4 months and this way is working really well.

img_7982I appreciate the whole breast is best debate but surely the formula made today is as nutritious and nourishing as needed. If i compare Mop Top who had 3 months of breast milk with my friends baby who was bottle fed from birth, developmentally they are exactly the same, at the same stage and doing similar things.

It is 2016 and mums are still being judged on whether they breast or bottle feed their baby. It’s crazy. Mums should do what they feel is right and fits into their life style.

I really do not want to get into a breast feeding vs bottle feeding debate, but wanted to share our experience. If you are the mum who exclusively breast fed right up to age 1…. great, if you bottle feed your baby from birth …. great! As long as that baby is well fed, well loved does it really matter.

img_7986Please don’t judge us mums as we are all in this together and it is by no means a competition.

Have a great weekend
Love Kelly